Parenting Issues

I came across some notes in an old notebook I had written down as a reminder for me.  Before throwing it away,  I decided to share the information here.  Also, I wanted to refer back to an earlier blog where I had shared parenting scriptures mentioned from Walk in the Word radio program in 2014. Follow this link : Valuable Proverbs from Walk in the Word

The notes in my notebook were as follows:

Parenting Reminders

Discipline without relationship leads to rebellion.

Discipline with relationship leads to maturity.

All law and no love leads to legalism or rebellion.

No law and all love leads to a lack of discipline and an "Anything Goes" mentality.

Well, now I can throw away the notebook.  For those of you starting out your parenting, I hope it helps.

Have a great day.

Studying the Word of God in the Presence of God

I have been studying the Bible for years now.  It has become a pursuit, a passion, and a desire of mine.  It has been transformational.  I have grown in my love for The Lord as I learn more about Him from the scriptures.  There have been times when I have encountered some hard truths that I wish weren't there, but the full counsel of the Word of God has been true nourishment that has sustained me, matured me and grown my relationship with God through His Holy Spirit by the grace gift of Jesus Christ.

However, I approach the Word of God typically through the use of external tools alongside the scripture known as bible studies.  I am beginning to notice these external tools are often times far too emotions and feelings based for me.  I strongly believe that the Word of God is not subject to our interpretation nor our emotions and feelings. Honestly I am so thankful for that fact.  I cannot imagine being tossed about at the whelms of my emotions and feelings.  While I can interact and enjoy life and even God by those very emotions and feelings, I cannot stand on them as truth.  At the end I plan to elaborate on an example in my own life to expound on this idea.

I find that women's studies are constantly asking me "How I feel about this or that" and all I can say at the top of my lungs is "I don't care how I feel, it doesn't matter how I feel, I want to study the Word of God to see what God says about this or that".  Perhaps this is the way it has been for some time, and perhaps I am just noticing it.  However, I do think being overly concerned about the way we feel may lead us into a very unwise walk if it supersedes truth.

In general, there seems to be two extremes in the body.  There are those deeply immersed into God's Word or those immersed in His Spirit.  It seems rather uncommon to find the Christian with a combination of the two which is what it takes to be well rounded.  Those who are studying the Word without the help and assistance of the Spirit, find their pursuit dry and legalistic; a type of bootstrap obedience. This leaves them empty, lifeless and joyless maybe even judgmental and harsh. Those who seek the Spirit without the Word typically are overzealous, hyper-spiritualized, experiential in feelings and emotions without being grounded in truth. These are the ones who are typically unable to discern between the leading of the Holy Spirit and their own thoughts.  They are easily led astray. they are on fire and full of the spirit and unfortunately without proper grounding and truth may burn out without the substance of the Word.

I believe we are to search the scriptures, study them and allow God to speak to us through them.  However if we only study the scripture as we do with any other book, it will be a dry, lifeless book.  If we are studying it in hopes of discovering all the ways to behave in order to please and appease God, our efforts will not only be futile, but  this approach will leave us feeling defeated.  We will be overwhelmed at the sheer magnitude and the daunting task of obeying all that is in the Bible. Due to the fact that we are linear beings, we typically can intentionally obey the latest rules we have studied because they are on our minds.  Conversely, if we have developed good habits or are easily obedient to the Bible, we see ourselves as succeeding, this may lead us to become prideful and arrogant.  Either way, we will be displeasing to God.

I believe we are to seek the Holy Spirit.  It will be the enabling power for us to live this life.  The Holy Spirit will teach us through the scripture, and remind us of all we have learned.  The Holy Spirit is what Jesus said He was sending to us when He left this earth.  Jesus died to not only rescue us from our sin of which we couldn't do for ourselves, He also sent us heavenly assistance to give us the power to live in a manner that pleases God.   The reason He did this is to restore us into a real vibrant relationship with God.  He created us to know Him, to be loved by Him and so we would be able to love Him back and put Him on display to the world for others to see (bring Him glory).  Why?  So the world then could know Him, be in relationship with Him.  Honestly to know Him and be in relationship with Him is to love Him.  He is love and when the enabling power of the Holy Spirit is experienced in us, we can experience that love.  That discovery of Him and love of Him will be the motivator and the enablement to obey Him.

So my challenge is to get into the Word of God in the presence of the Holy Spirit who will lead you into all truth.  When you are tempted to read scripture and say "I don't FEEL like that is true" or to say "That doesn't line up with what I have been through"; how about turning those statements around.  Read the Word in the awareness that God is with you by His Spirit.  Tell Him openly what it is in your experience that is causing you to struggle to believe the Word.  Ask Him to help you with your unbelief and help you with your understanding.  One thing I see is where we allow our circumstances and feelings to interpret scripture.  For example, when the scripture talks about answered prayers, if you haven't received a positive answer to your prayer; you begin to believe that God doesn't really answer prayers.  As a matter of fact, He does answer prayers.  It is possible He is saying no which is still an answer, not yet or perhaps He is saying yes as an answer but differently than you could have imagined.

We need to avoid interpreting the Word of God without the assistance of the Holy Spirit.  Allow your time in the Word to be an extension of your prayer time.  Let it be a conversation between you and God. (that is all prayer really is)  This can be the most profound experience you have ever had with Him, if you will do it.

Here is a second part of the challenge: take time to read the Word of God and journal what you learn and discover.  Read a verse, a chapter or an entire book, but whatever you choose to read, do it prayerfully.  Ask God to open your eyes and enlighten your heart to hear from Him in His word. (see Ephesians 1:17-19).   Allow Him to talk to you and when He begins to open your eyes to see truth, begin to write it down in a journal or notebook.  Resist the temptation of bringing your feelings into your interpretation.  Sometimes our feelings come on board long after our minds have lined up with the Word of God.  Feelings can mislead us, and instinct can be wrong.  If we are created by God, then His instruction manual on how to live and navigate life is what we need to depend on in order to live according to His design.  He provided us a large portion of the Word, the Old Testament, before the rescue was sent in the person of Jesus, so we are able to see that man cannot please God independent of God.  So the last part of God's Word, the New Testament, demonstrates His answer for us. The answer being, His power was made available to us in order that we may be restored into a relationship with Him.  Also that we are enabled to follow and obey His commands because of this wonderful gift of His power made manifest in us.

• As promised earlier, in reference to the matter of not standing on emotions and feelings as truth; in the midst of menopause I would be so hot at times I would have sworn the thermostat was set much  higher than it actually was.  When  I would take a look to see, I would see the same temperature which would have been giving me a chill in years passed.  During these episodes, I began to truly see how my hormones were playing tricks on me.  They were not a reflection of a change in my environment, rather they were in essence lying to me about it.  So my internal gauge was no longer reliable, and I needed to seek the truth by checking the thermostat.  Did I cool off by checking the external gauge?  No! But I could see the truth and refuse to freeze everyone else because of my internal reality.

Allow God's Word to be the road map for you and allow Him to be your guide by His Holy Spirit.  May your day be blessed today and may you be a blessing to others as you go.

Christian Attacks? Rudolph, Bunnies and Trees

Lately, there seems to be an outpouring of offense regarding Christianity and I am trying to process it...

My mind is flooded now with these thoughts and I am struggling to organize them effectively even as I type.

The secular world is attacking prayer, opinions, stances, traditional families & values, monuments that honor or remember events & people, the Ten Commandments & Christmas traditions and symbols.

As I think about this, I am puzzled not at the world's response, but rather I am puzzled by the Christians' responses.

If we are going to defend our right to pray publicly, ought we not start with private prayer in our own lives.  When is the last time you took advantage of your access to the Father in prayer?  Within the confines of the church, when is the last time you attended a prayer meeting?  How long were you willing to linger there with other believers in prayer?  I am not trying to attack the church or believers, but I am trying to bring awareness to this issue to see that first and foremost, we ought to be a people of prayer first.  No one can stop that.  You cannot remove prayer from the public square as long as there are those who will be talking with God.  It may stop the secular world from praying or participating in a formal performance that gives a nod toward God, but what exactly did this accomplish over the years?  Has it drawn us closer to God in doing so?  Did it point the secular world toward the way the truth and the life?  Did it point them to the light of the world?  Did it set their hearts ablaze to repent of their sins and accept God's solution for them in the gift of Jesus Christ?  Better yet, did it set any believer's heart ablaze?  So what exactly are we defending?  Is it our right to publicly, formally and coldly give tribute to God?  Please don't misunderstand me, I am not advocating these actions on the part of the secular society, but I am not surprised by it at all.  My challenge is one for the body of believers.

It has become more and more popular and acceptable by the secular world to attack traditional family values, opinions and traditional stances.  These attacks come because the secular world sees Christianity as intolerant, biased and bigoted.  The biblical family is one set in place by the Creator of the universe.  It has been an institution that was never really questioned or challenged in the manner it is today.  So let's take a look at the family.  What could possibly be so wrong about it that so many are turning from it for another way?  It was set up to be a small unit of people who are joined together by a commitment to say I will do life with you, I will be a witness to your life and you will be the witness to mine.  We will do life together because it is not good for us to be alone. We will go through life's ups and downs together regardless.  We will have a family together and grow our family (if the Lord blesses us in this way).  We will be part of the bigger families of our origin and our community.  We will raise our children to be a part of this same family and community.  We will teach them to be good citizen who follow order and law within our community so we can all live peacefully together.  Then they will go forth and repeat our process.

So assuming I very clumsily and incompletely recapped this thing that we call traditional family, where in lies the problem?  Could it be that like prayer, we want to protect the institution and the idea, but when it comes to actually entering into its fullness, intent and purpose as Christians, we have taken it for granted and spit on it, mishandled it and even discarded it.  If it is this cherished institution, why are so many abandoning it?  Why are so many children feeling abandoned by parents?  Why are there as many divorces within the church as outside of it?  The attack on this institution is occurring within the walls of the church too.  If we do not honor it and cherish it as precious, why do we expect something more from the secular world?  We need to be living examples.  The marriage of believers ought to be the most joyful and most satisfied regardless of our circumstances.  I am not talking about perfection, I am talking about connection, love, respect, forgiveness and most importantly commitment.

And to address the most recent attacks on Christmas.  There is a sadness and weightiness to the attacks on the traditions of Christmas.  The cartoon Rudolph is being accused of promoting bullying. The song "Baby its Cold Outside" is being attacked by the "MeToo" movement as not taking "no" for an answer.  The wise men perched high in a city building needing to come down.  Multitudes of Christmas trees and manger scenes being banned from the city square.  My thought is so what!   I am going to put all monuments and even the Ten Commandments into this discussion.  So what if you cannot post these monuments.

How many of you actually read and are convicted because you saw a monument of history or commands.  How many of you need a Christmas tree in a public place to enjoy Christmas.  How many need the wise men and manger to think on Christmas and the reason for the season (or even when they are there, did it prompt you to think on the meaning?)  Do I think these should be removed?  No.  I think the attacks are silly and absurd, but they don't concern me.  Some of these do point to a wonderful story that is eternal.  No matter the attack, this eternal story cannot be eliminated. It is a secure event.  It happened. As a matter of fact every monument erected to point to an event in history cannot rewrite the history by its removal.  The risk of removal and attempts to rewrite history is where our concern should lie.  As for the Ten Commandments, these are to be written on our hearts and minds.  Jesus said "I didn't come to do away with the law, I came to fulfill it."  So we are to be living those commands by His indwelling power.  The stone tablets are fine to commemorate events, but whether they are publicly on display or not, those who are followers of Jesus ought to be living them out in the power of His Holy Spirit not necessarily writing them on stones.  Which one is more effective?

And now to address the silliness of attacks on Rudolph.  Ha.  The best part of this movie is that Rudolph overcomes the bullying.  Shouldn't we have more stories that show the underdog winning through perseverance and character.  There are mean people in the world.  Bullies existed long before there was movies to be seen.  This doesn't create bullies.  The song mentioned earlier doesn't promote men taking advantage of women.  If you listen closely, it's a song about a girl and guy who mutually are enjoying one another's company.  She is wanting to stay but has all these concerns if she stays.  Her reputation, the concern of her family and yet she would like to stay longer with him.  He is wanting her to stay and trying to get her to stay longer. Good grief.  Most of us understand this.

But neither of these attacks are attacks on Christian values and beliefs. Many of the attacks on Christmas, Easter and any other holiday traditions are attacks on the secular traditions that have developed over time to Christian holidays.  The spirit of Christmas and Easter are internal to us and eternal.  You can't get rid of these stories.  It is the story of the ages.  The attacks that come cannot touch that which truly burns within our souls.  No one can take that which is stored within my mind and heart and outlaw it.  And if there were a way to do it, I am certain the secular world whose primary leader is led by the enemy of God, they would try to do it.  Hopefully if it became a crime to think on God, meditate on His Word, pray to Him in the power of the Holy Spirit and accept the price Jesus paid for us; I hope the prisons would be filled with Christians on fire for God. I also hope there would be plenty of evidence to convict me.

So during this holiday season, maybe we should be thankful for the country in which we live. Maybe we should embrace all that we are still free to do.  How about speaking up in your sphere of influence about the TRUE meaning of Christmas.  Not getting so offended by the silly attacks on our fun little traditions.  Respond as Christ responded.  Love those around you.  Be kind and compassionate.  Spend time demonstrating the character of Christ.  While out shopping for Christmas presents, remember the reason we celebrate and offer compassion and kindness as you go.  Smile more, let someone cut in front of you in traffic or at the checkout line. Say something encouraging to the cashier.  Think more highly of others than yourself.  Love God, talk to Him and study His Word.  Write it on your heart.  Lay down the offenses and even the defensiveness.

Yes, these attacks are would be attacks on our Christian values and beliefs.  They are even trying to take away our freedom of speech.  However, take inventory of your life.  Of the rights and freedoms you currently have, when is the last time you shared Jesus with an unbeliever.  When is the last time you bowed your head in public to pray over your food, over a hurting friend or just cast your eyes upward toward heaven to ask God for help?  For those in Christ, live the life He dies for you to live.  Stop worrying so much about the attacks of the worldly.  Ask yourself, why are they so offended by Jesus.  The world is offended by an Easter Bunny, an old man in a red suit and a deer with a red nose.  As far as I am concerned, none of those represent my relationship with Jesus.  They are cute and fun, but if they are gone tomorrow, I will still love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and love my neighbor as myself.  Of these things, no man can make a law against that, and if they find a way to do it, LET'S be found fully and completely GUILTY!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!