Are you kidding me? What on earth was I thinking? Why did I think it was a good idea to write on this topic?
Years ago, I had a title in my head for a book. It was to be
called Peace Among the Chaos. It rested in the back of my mind and
surfaced occasionally. I remember watching a movie with Steve Martin,
Parenthood. At the end of the story, his character was struggling with the news
he would be a father again at the same time his oldest daughter was also pregnant.
The grandmother in the movie started talking about how she loved the
rollercoaster. She said some prefer the Ferris Wheel that just goes
around and around, but not her. She loved the thrill of the ups, downs, twists,
and turns. He couldn't understand why she would tell him this. He dismissed
her. Then in the middle of a school play, his youngest son caused a great deal
of chaos, causing the backdrop to fall, and then like dominoes, one thing after
another fell. Steve Martin was so upset, and the camera shot the scene as if
he were on a rollercoaster. He is upset and does not like it at all.
Recently, I finished writing a bible study, Grow Up. My mind
started pondering my next project. As I did, Peace Among the Chaos came back to
my mind. No sooner than I decided to write the first blog about it than the
chaos began.
I had started a home project that required coordinating different
contractors. Before these workers came to do their part, I had a good bit
of prep work to do. As with any big home project, many things can go wrong. I
live in an older house, and every home improvement project is challenging. This
home improvement project included installing cabinets in our storage room and second garage, which serves as a shop for Marc.
I started out so organized. The plan was simple, I would not use
my garage bay for my car during this project. Instead, I would be able to move
all of the storage stuff there. As I moved the things into storage, I planned to sort it all, get rid of some of it, throw away some and organize what
remained. It was going great until the calendar was getting closer to
the installation, and I still had a lot of work ahead of me. So, I did what we
all do, I just moved it all and piled it up, and it was CHAOS. In the midst of
it, we moved my youngest daughter back from college. She was
starting an internship in another city, and we would need to store her things in
the interim. The best thing we decided to do was to rent a storage facility. It
gave me an option to manage the chaos.
Part of the project required two walls to be removed that had been put up to create a darkroom to develop film for photos by a
previous owner. We used it for storage and called it the “man cave.”
Like all storage areas, they can get out of hand if you do not stay on top of them. Let’s just say I had not stayed on top of managing it.
As time was getting closer to new flooring and cabinets,
I felt the urgency to clear the room and tear out the walls. With
each step, I would find a new step that needed to be added to the project. Once
all my prep work was done, it was time for the flooring to go in. I coordinated
with a local company that had installed the flooring in the house several years
before. We were able to get the same flooring to continue into the adjoining
room, and all seemed to be going fabulously. The install day came, the project was maybe a fifth of the way through, and I heard my name called through
the house. One of the workers told me that the boards were not locking into
each other. The project would be halted until we could get a new batch of
flooring.
There was a small window of time between the flooring and the
cabinets. This delay was going to push these install dates closer together. We
were not even sure the flooring would come in in time. I had to be out of town
for the second install appointment, so Marc would have to be at the
house. The flooring went down, and the next appointment was the cabinets.
The day came, and the crew showed up on time. All was moving
forward until the foreman asked me for electrical tape because they had sawed
into a cord for one of the power tools. Then I heard him call my name. I had
flashbacks to when the flooring guy called, which was the same tone. He told
me they didn’t have all the needed parts to finish the job. I looked
around the area and noticed the countertop going into the garage was
not the surface I had ordered. I had paid an upcharge for a more
durable surface since Marc's work in the garage could be
harder on surfaces.
This was about a month ago. The foreman said they would send
someone out the next day to finish up. I still haven’t seen them.
Why do I share this story? Because once I decided to write about
having peace among the chaos, I have had chaos.
My mother found a lump in her breast in the middle of this. I had
to take her to have a mammogram scheduled at the same time as
mine. I called to reschedule mine and went to my mom's instead. No
big deal. We found out after several doctors visits that she would need a mastectomy and it would need to be done immediately. The care following would require my sister and me to coordinate our schedules. We were both blessed to do it. She
is doing great, but nothing can tempt me to lose my peace like concern for a
dearly loved person in my life. With each step of this process, I found ways to
lean into the Lord and trust Him with the outcome.
It was time for my rescheduled mammogram.
It was followed by a call for me to come back. They had seen something
“unusual.” On the heels of my mom’s experience, are you kidding me? I called to
schedule a follow-up appointment and had to wait about a week. No problem.
I started to think that writing about
peace among chaos may not be the topic for me.
I went to the appointment and the second mammogram showed the same
concern, so I was sent to have an ultrasound. I lay there enjoying the
conversation with the technician. She and I talked about my recent experience with my mom, who had gone through much of the same thing with her
grandmother about 10 years ago. It was so comforting to talk with her.
As she finished, she told me she had to talk to the person reviewing my case and would be right back. Then she turned to me and said, “but
I do not see anything of concern.
These things have been chaotic and tempted me to lose my
peace. I can say that when I read scripture, talked with
others about what I was going through, and prayed, I was walking in some anxiety, but also, there were plenty of times of peace.
I did not do it perfectly. I got agitated. I got a little scared.
But the thing that kept coming to my mind was, “ok, why not me.” We all go
through hard times and times of chaos. How we react to these times determines
our peace. No difficulty can rob our peace.
My peace comes from knowing that no matter what comes, I am at
peace with God, my creator. I know I can trust Him and that if He allows
me to go through something, there is a reason. I have found that I can find
peace in the chaos of my life. In the busyness, if I seek Him, I find Him. Do I
always seek Him in these times? NO! But that is okay. Each situation gives me a
chance to learn. Each situation shows me new things about myself and about Him.
Some chaos may even allow us to learn to enjoy the ride we are on. Not every circumstance will be pleasant, but I believe we can enjoy the ride together if we are on the journey with others. Look
around. Who are you on the ride with? Perhaps what you are going through may be
hard and even painful, but I believe we can make the best of it based on who is
riding on the rollercoaster with us. Raise your hands, see if you cannot rise above the chaos, and maybe even enjoy the ride.
Do I get this right? NOPE neither will you. That is not what this
is about. It is just saying we can remind ourselves in these times to search
for peace, engage in fellowship with others, and try to make the best of the
rollercoasters when they come...and they will come. Life seems to guarantee
that. In the middle of it all, look for the Lord and seek to trust Him.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to
you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be
troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses
all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your
hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.
Based on these verses, how can you find peace today?
What things have you found that help you find peace
in the chaos? Comment below so others can learn from your examples.
