Thursday, March 11, 2010

Learning to trust God with all things

God is so good. 

I have to say that God uses EVERY opportunity in my life to reveal Himself to me.  I went thru a surgery recently that I had postpone for 10 years.  I was told following an automobile accident, I would need a spinal fusion.  Sounded very scary.  I was told the surgery could cause paralysis.  At that point, I had pain, but I was very active and able to fully function.  So I sought alternative options.  I was able to manage the pain for a decade and finally was to a point it couldn't be delayed any longer.   I returned to the doctor, and again told the chances of being pain free and the chances of paralysis.  So I was faced with lots of fear entering the surgery. 

I came across scripture that told me to trust only in the Lord and not in man.  I was not trusting the doctors.  I was not trusting what they could do.  However, the fear revealed that I was NOT trusting the Lord.  I came to the reality that I was to trust in Him no matter the outcome. 

I have not had a single surgery where I was free of anxiety.  Anyone who knows my history, knows I have had several incidents that led me to be cautious where surgeons are concerned.  So for about 3 weeks God began to build my faith.  I began to accept whatever fate laid before me.  The more I submitted to His will the more able I was to walk the path before me.  I have never had such peace.  I was beginning to lay down my control, my concern and even my agenda and plan for my life.  I finally said "OK Lord, Your will be done in my life."  It was hard and I did cry thru it. 

However, when I awakened from the surgery and the nurse asked me if I could wiggle my fingers and toes, I did and that was an immediate cry of praise and thanksgiving to God.  I can not tell you exactly the emotions that ran thru me at that moment, but it was yet another way for God to teach me what trusting in Him really looks like. 

This was a situation I hope I never have to repeat, but the lesson God taught me thur it will be ingrained in me for the rest of my life.  I pray that I never forget it.

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